
When I returned to graduate school after completing my thesis research on such great illustrators as Robert Weaver, Jack Potter, Harvey Schmidt, David Stone Martin and Mia Carpenter; I immersed myself into my love of drawing again. For years I had been concentrating on painting and medium, but when I finally quit my job of four years working for a well known corporation and all of it's perks, I figured if I am gonna go down to the depths of student life again, I am gonna go down swinging with my heart in it at
least. Graduate school for me was not an easy time. Leaving behind the steady paycheck, losing the love of my life of an almost a seven year relationship with my college sweat-heart, and alienating myself from all that was comfortable, I moved from sunny San Francisco to snowy Syracuse and started all over again, and it felt that way. But I had the feeling that if I could survive this, I could survive anything and I would come out the other end sharper and more experienced than ever. The following year and a half changed me in someway and remains stamped on my heart like a badge of courage. I did this drawing of myself back then in my lonely frozen apartment flat off Wescott Street. I had lost a bunch of weight eating as meagerly as I did and was homesick worse than ever. I was reading the biography of N.C. Wyeth to stay inspired.
This week I was talking to a student about the struggles they are feeling living in a cold abrasive city (like San Francisco can be at times) and feeling shut-in, having left behind the safe ground they had known all their lives in search of a dream, in search of hope, and I couldn't help but harken back to my own experiences in Syracuse. It's a struggle I feel everyone must go through at some point in their lives; to be "beat", to be "all time low down, sadness..." as Kerouac put it. It's part of testing what you didn't know you were capable of, to hit rock-bottom and survive it. It is something we can carry within ourselves throughout the troubled times in our lives to remind us what Jerry once sang out, "we will survive...". I am here to tell you as living proof, that you can make it, do not give up the fight but to keep your dreams in front of you and relish the warmth they give you. Remember, the good stuff in life is not whether you become rich, successful, or popular but that you made it count along the way. It's in the little accomplishments, and when you look back you will surprise yourself with just how far you have come.
Image: ©Copyright 2000 Trey Gallaher
14x17in. charcoal and acrylic on paper